Lots to Think About

The few days that Chris and I had together came and went like it was a dream.  I realize that I should be grateful for the time we had, and I am, but I am not looking forward to adjusting again.  Being back to work at Firemonkeys will help with the readjustment, and who knows what new adventures are in store for me over the next three months.  The first half of my trip was certainly action packed!  Contrary to what most people think, I am not much of a thrill seeker.  Actually, I tend to be a bit shy most of the time.

Not much about me has changed since childhood.  I have alway loved animals, the outdoors, friends, and family.  While some kids worried about being popular, I did my best to stay out of the spotlight.  My small group of friends were the best bunch of buddies ever, and I have nothing but happy memories growing up as a child.   Actually, as far as I know, everyone in my little gang of friends came from solid families.  Don't get me wrong, I am not implying that we grew up in Mayberry and lived like Mr. & Ms. Cleaver from Leave it to Beaver.  We still managed to find a bit of trouble along the way.  

To the best of my knowledge, I am the only one out of our gang that actually moved away.  I was reluctant to leave at first, but only because it meant leaving my family (mostly mom) behind. Living in Ohio was a daily struggle.  The weather was horrible and my life felt stagnant.  I knew I had to get out of the state but I couldn't muster the courage to tell my mother I was leaving.  The day finally arrived, and after sharing several tears and hugs, I packed my entire life into my Jeep and a small U-Haul.  My future was a one way trip to Fort Lauderdale, Florida.  I had no idea what I was going to do for work, and I didn't care.

My move to Florida would become the blueprint of my transition into adulthood.  I went from Mr. Quiet to Mr. Spotlight that first year, and all it took was a job tending bar!  To this day I cant explain it to people.  If you didn't experience it or live it, you wouldn't believe it.  Ten years later I was still behind a bar and making quite a name for myself.  The very moment that I started to feel safe and comfortable was the moment that life threw me another curve ball.  After ten years working at the same bar it was time to move on to something else.  The bar that employed me was sold and the new owners were closing the doors for remodeling.  Chapter four would become recruiting. 

It took me a good four years to make ANY money as a recruiter.  I worked solely on commission and I was not very good!  Thankfully I was surrounded by great people with lots of knowledge and patience.  Five years later I finally understood the job and earned a fair amount of money. I was just about to sit back and coast when the opportunity to work at EA came along.   Landing a job with EA is comparable to a minor league baseball player moving up to the majors.  As far as I was concerned, nothing was going to stop me from getting the job.  

Fast forward 1 1/2 years later and here I am sitting in Australia working at EA’s premier mobile studio.  So what is my point?  My point is simple (although longwinded)…  Nothing in life is unobtainable.  Everyone has a gift, a talent, or an area of expertise.  Oddly enough, my gift is the ability to be with people.  I just know people… How ironic is that?   I was, and still am, the shy person who never liked the spotlight, and look what happened.  God works in mysterious ways, and I now understand that cruise control is meant for cars and not life.

Life in OZ forces me out of my self-imposed restrictions.  Each day is a new adventure with its own set of challenges and rewards.  New accomplishments, friendships, failures, and new found  patience are but a few of the many rewards I have earned here. Each week I push myself a bit further outside of my comfort zone.  When I feel angry or defeated I make it a point to stop and self-examine.  As a bartender, I spent many years being someone other than myself.  I don't know why it was so shocking to me when people only related to me as “Matt the Bartender”.  Hell, I played the role for so long that even I didn't recognize the person I had become.  Being alone in OZ leaves me no other choice but to get to know myself again for the first time in years.  I am happy to report that I don't hate myself as much as I thought I would.  Here is what I learned to admit… 

I’m that guy who cries during a sappy commercial, or while watching someone achieve their dream.  A day on the couch with someone I love is worth more to me than all the money in the world.  I will do anything necessary to make someone I love happy, but sharing in their happiness is the best gift I can receive.  Most people think I am rough around the edges and without fear, but in reality I am just a truck.  I am not afraid to defend myself or the ones that I love.  When provoked I will attack, and when I do it never ends good for either party.  Mostly I trust too quickly, and as such I have had my share of hurt.  Nevertheless I continue to trust rather than become cynical   My success is measured in names (friends and loved ones) not in dollars.  Work is something I love to do, and I am blessed to have a job that I love doing.  I always believe that I can do more, and I strive to find the missing in order to achieve better results.  If I could give myself one gift it would be acceptance of my physical appearance.  Death doesn't scare me, but losing my loved ones frightens me to death.  I would save an animal before I would take myself to a doctor.  In my heart I still believe in the good of humanity, but I wonder how long it will take us to destroy this great planet. Although shy, I can be pushed out of my comfort zone with a bit of coaxing.  I have a few heroes in life, and I am lucky enough that most of them are still alive.  There isn't a thing that I wouldn't do for my family, and I am a hopeless romantic.  

Oz continues to remind me that life is magical and that everyone has something to offer the world.  Recognizing each persons gift requires that we stop long enough to listen and take notice.   Love is real and it is available to everyone.  There is a cost though… In order to know true love one must also accept the chance of loss.  People have stories, just like me, and most people are looking for someone to listen.  Listening creates something out of nothing, and friendships grow faster and stronger than  hatred, if just given the chance.   I have been lucky enough to make a few great friends while here in OZ, and now that I am half way through my trip I am beginning to think about how I will miss them when I leave.  When all is said and done, I am a lucky truck. 

Chris, the time we spent together recently will forever make me smile.  I am grateful for having you in my life.  

This will probably be one of the last videos for at least 3-4 weeks.  I tend to go overboard with things…

IF you wonder what 12 days of putting up with me looks like, wonder no more!    Twelve Days of OZ Video